Women looking out a window reflecting

Thankfully, It’s All Good!

Women looking out a window reflecting

As the year begins its inevitable roll to a close, now’s the time when many of us stop for a quiet moment to remind ourselves of all the things for which we are thankful.

And that’s a great thing—some of us enjoy it so much that we do it everyday. We’ve discovered that the more we appreciate what we have, the fuller our lives feel and the more content we tend to be, no matter what else is happening around us.

With that in mind, I invite you to try something new.  This year, in addition to remembering all the enjoyable and nourishing things for which you are thankful, why not expand the range of your thankfulness to every single thing that happens?

And here’s why: have you ever looked back on something difficult or challenging that you faced—weeks, months or years ago—and only then realized how much you benefitted from going through it? What feels challenging in the present often leaves us with unexpected advantages in the future.

When you consider the things that were hard for you to handle or accept this year, your list might include losing out on that job you really wanted, or a lucrative project fell through. Perhaps you weren’t accepted into the school of your choice or a relationship ended. Whatever they were, once you start looking at them objectively, you may be surprised to discover that there’s something to be grateful for in your disappointments, too.

Check out our Monthly Practice on Move Into Your Power for a strategy you can use every year to head into the holiday season with a deep feeling of contentment.


Maia Beatty Training

Q&A: Practical Tips for Leaders

Maia Beatty TrainingHere are a few helpful strategies for leaders, based on the questions posted on the Conversation Board at a recent leadership training:

Q: How do you set boundaries and manage expectations in a meeting or training session?

A: Every successful training or meeting starts with some form of pre-course correspondence, which provides the information described below to all of the participants prior to the event. The amount of detail depends upon the number of participants, how well they know each other, and the scope of the meeting or training. Below you’ll find the details we use to set up all of our trainings. With minor modifications, they will work just as well for any meeting.

1.  Setup

a.  Prior to the training send an email with the date, time, length, and location of the event.

b.  Include in the email expectations on attendance, handling work interruptions, etc.

c.   Attach a pre-course questionnaire asking the participants what they already know about the topic, what challenges they face with the topic and what they expect to accomplish in the training. For a meeting, send an agenda and provide the opportunity for the participants to provide input on its content.

2.  Allow time for the group to introduce themselves to each other, which also helps you to get to know the makeup of the class. Provide the opportunity to share information about themselves such as their names and something unique about them, their strengths and challenges with the topic, what they want to accomplish and what they will contribute. You can do that quickly and easily using a Group Resume.

3.  At the start of the training cover the “housekeeping” questions everyone is likely to have such as: breaks, restroom locations, fire exits, refreshments, cell phone usage, how questions will be handled, etc.

4.  Briefly cover the purpose, benefits, and objectives of the training.

Preparing the participants for their success at the start of every class means giving them the opportunity to feel that they have a role in the training. This creates an atmosphere of cooperation and collaboration between everyone in the class and leads to greater success for all involved.

Q: How do I remember the names of a large group of people that who are attending a meeting/training with me?

A: Whenever possible, it’s important to know as much about the people attending your training or meeting as you can. As a leader (whether you’re “in-charge” of the event or not) it’s up to you to greet participants with warmth and genuine interest. Here are the strategies I use to successfully get to know attendees before I ever meet them:

1.  Obtain a roster of everyone who is attending the training/meeting.

2.  Look them up on Social Media. For business settings, I prefer LinkedIn. Familiarize yourself with their picture and imagine meeting them. That Simple Shift™ in your attention will help you to identify an interesting bit of information from their profile (where they work, their job, and anything of interest that jumps out at you) that will help you to connect more easily with them when you meet them in person.

3.  Make your own roster with their picture, name, company and whatever tidbit of information stuck with you from your research.

4.  Review it until feel like you know who you’re looking for and you’re comfortable that you can remember something about each person.

5.  Take your ‘cheat sheet’ with you to the event. Use it discretely, until somebody asks you how you can remember everyone’s name so easily. Feel free to share your new strategy—and let them know how you learned it.

6.  Arrive early, pick your seat—or complete the setup for your event—before anyone else arrives.

7.  Greet people at the door and if you remember it, use their name. If you don’t remember it immediately, don’t worry. Simply introduce yourself and ask their name. That might help you to recall something you’ve already discovered about them when they introduce themselves to you. Now you have it to use in your conversation. If not, ask them a question about themselves or why they are attending the event. When you really listen to their responses, you’ll be amazed at how much you will be able to comfortably and easily connect with anyone.

Leaders have a knack for making everyone in the room feel welcome and comfortable—even in difficult situations. Although it’s a skill that takes practice, I promise that your efforts will be rewarded!

Q. How can you tell that your message was received?

A. Although every situation is unique, there are at least three steps to this answer:

1.  First, it’s important to understand that sending your message effectively is always your responsibility. The moment you realize that you’re the one who wants it to be well received, you can take the steps necessary to make sure that it is.

2.  Next, it’s important to remember that before you send a message to anyone—whether it’s in person or by email—make sure you’ve already created rapport with him or her. (Everything you need to do that is in your course materials.) Once you’ve created rapport with everyone with whom you want to communicate, it’s a lot easier to get your messages across effectively. Without rapport, your messages are at risk of “falling on deaf ears.”

3.  Now that you know that effectively sending your message is your responsibility and you’ve created rapport with the person, remember that their response is an indication of the message they received. If what they heard is not what you said, stay in dialogue with them until you’re clear that they got the message you wanted to send. Matching their speed and process will help you tremendously—and for those of you who know how to match Sensory Channels, be sure to do that, too.

The more you practice using each of these steps, the more effective you will be at getting your message across to anyone.

Q. How do your communicate effectively when you need to say “No?”

A. Let’s break this down. There are two types of entities who need to be able to clearly communicate when the answer to a request is ‘No,’—the individual and the organization. For the individual, often your effectiveness is as simple as saying ‘Yes’ only when you mean it. See our recent blog article, Say “YES” Like a Queen for more.

For an organization, the key to effectively saying ‘No’ is to have processes and procedure in place to cover common contingencies. Consistent answers are easier for everyone concerned. That doesn’t mean that exceptions shouldn’t be made or that responses should feel canned, uncaring, or like you’re passing the buck. Showing concern for the other person goes a long way toward making your ‘No’ more palatable. Compare these two responses:

•  “I understand what you’re saying. We usually can’t do (insert request here) and here’s what I can do.”

 •  “Sorry, there’s nothing I can do—that’s against company policy.”

Which one is more effective for your ongoing professional relationship? Good customer service/employee relations are less about saying ‘Yes’ to every request and more about showing the person making the request that they are heard and valued.

Q. What’s the most effective way to boost your vocabulary?

A. Reading is a great way to increase your vocabulary! So is keeping a dictionary handy while you read so you can look up any words you don’t understand—or from which you cannot infer the meaning based on context. There are also 365 New Words a Year desk calendars and various apps to help you learn new words. The key to increasing your vocabulary is to practice by using them!

Q. How do you get unstuck when you’re working with someone who is older and stuck?

A. Getting unstuck is as simple as changing your perspective—refer to your training on The Gears™. You may remember from our training that, regardless of our age, we all have our own “1stGear, in which we can get stuck from time to time. When that happens to you, the Simple Shift™ you can make is to Use The Gears to Shift Into Neutral™—simply stop and breathe.

Next, remind yourself that the other person’s 1st Gear is as true for them as yours is for you. There is no right or wrong. Each of you has your own culture, language, experiences, opinions, beliefs and values.

Finally, ask yourself, “If I had Unlimited Creative Power and I could not fail, what do I want in this moment?” Asking yourself that one question allows your brain to focus on what you want instead of the problem. You’ll be amazed at how the change in your tone and attitude will affect the responses from the other people in the conversation.

Although you still may not get them to agree with your point of view, you’ll both reach a clearer understanding of each other. Who knows, you may find that new options—which have never before occurred to either of you—become a part of your conversations!

Learn more tips and Simple Shifts™ that will change your world—try Move Into Your Power® for free today.

Siberian Tiger

Your Realm—Your Reality—Your Choice


Siberian TigerHow are things in your Queendom today?

When you are happy and all is well in your world, there are tranquil places you go. Maybe it’s to open plains of sunshine with waving grass. Maybe you prefer lakes and streams of glistening water alongside beautiful jungles full of tall trees and exotic creatures. Perhaps it’s somewhere totally different. Wherever it is—you’re confident and content.

Meanwhile, there are other places in your realm that are not as peaceful. In the innermost recesses, the darker spaces you try to avoid, lurk those thoughts and words that bring to life your own special variety of Trash Talk. Even though it was banished from your world, Trash Talk is relentless. It’s like a tiger hungrily eyeing its prey; it’s simply in its nature to stalk you.

Your Trash Talk has been with you for so long that it’s not easy to permanently banish. It continues to cause you to second-guess your abilities and scare yourself. It’s very happy to simply lie in wait—always ready to emerge just as you are about to move forward. You know it’s tracking you when you hear yourself saying things like:

“I Can’t…”

“If only I would’ve…”

“I should’ve”

“I could’ve”

The fear you can feel in the midst of this self-doubt is physical. It’s like you’ve just sensed that the tiger is about to pounce. Fear isn’t always a bad thing—we’re hardwired to instantly respond to the physical feeling we get when we’re in real danger. When the hair on your arms—or the back of your neck—stands up, that’s your body warning you of imminent physical harm. You need to pay attention and escape!

Drawing of a paper tigerOther times you feel something stalking you and the sensation is more like heaviness in your shoulders or a sense of dread or maybe there’s a sinking feeling in your gut. That’s when you know your tiger is imaginary. It’s just your special variety of Trash Talk getting ready to pounce.

When your tiger is imaginary, you can instantly drive it away with three simple questions:

  1. Where have I seen this before?
  2. What if this is different?
  3. How does this insight change things?

Restoring your world to a state of tranquility is a Simple Shift from believing your Trash Talk is real to banishing it from your life. It’s your realm—your reality—your choice.

 Learn more Simple Shifts that will change your world at Move Into Your Power®.


Do You Believe in Perfect?

Neuschwanstein Castle in GermanyTo all outward appearances, Queens are perfect. They have the perfect looks and the perfect clothes. They have perfect posture, perfect homes, perfect manners, and perfect taste. They always seem to know exactly how to say and do the right thing in any situation. It’s a natural conclusion—when you’re a Queen, not only do you have a perfect life, you are perfect.

It’s easy to paint this idyllic picture. It allows us to hold close to our hearts the idea of attainable perfection. We dream of what our life could be like if we never had to struggle.  When we do struggle, the feeling that we are somehow “less” haunts us. It stops us even when we know that perfection is only a fantasy.

It’s easy to forget that Queens have simply mastered how to look the part.

Here’s how they do it: underneath their queenly appearance, they have laser-focused mental clarity about what they want and the unshakable self-confidence to get it. They value planning. They admit their weaknesses, at least to themselves. When necessary, they enlist others who have the skills they lack to help them. They learn from their mistakes, figure out how to use what they discover to the best advantage, and then move on.

You can master these skills too! You’ll find out how in our monthly practice on Move Into Your Power.

A Queen

Say “Yes” Like A Queen

A QueenThe Queen sits regally on her throne patiently listening to the appeals of her loyal subjects. Everyone who comes to her has a compelling story and desperately needs her help. She listens attentively. Her compassion is boundless. She can’t help herself—she grants every request. She just doesn’t have the heart or the confidence to refuse.

Wait a minute!!! Does that sound like any Queen you’ve ever read about or seen in a movie?
Is she patient? Sometimes.

Is she attentive? Usually.

Is she compassionate? Often.

Does she always say yes? No.

How successful would any Queen be if she always said “yes,” even when she didn’t mean it?

How trusted would she be if she could never say “no?”

When you don’t imagine yourself to be a Queen, it’s easy to fall into the trap of saying “yes” when you really want to say “no.” So may of us would rather sacrifice ourselves—our time, our money, or our comfort—than disappoint someone.

The cost is higher than you think. When you always say “yes” to everyone else—you only have “no” left for yourself. Think about it. What did it cost you the last time you agreed to do something you didn’t want to do? Did you:

  • Miss out on something else you would rather have done?
  • Waste time dreading it?
  • Begrudge doing it?
  • Feel guilty for trying to avoid doing it?
  • Feel irritated that it was asked of you?

You can avoid all of that drama when you remember that one of the hallmarks of being the Queen of Your Own Life is saying “yes” only when you mean it.

Here’s the payoff: You’re happier and you have a more positive attitude. The resentments you’ve allowed to build up toward those who “take advantage of you” dissipate. The people to whom you do say “yes” know they can count on you to be fully present and deliver on your promises. The people to whom you say “no” feel respected—they trust that when you do say “yes” you’ll mean it.

When you look at it more closely, doesn’t it look like everyone’s better off when you only say “yes” when you mean it? See how it feels to say yes like a Queen in the monthly practice on Move Into Your Power.

Three Words to Ban from Your Personal Queendom

A QueenLast time we talked about abdicating your throne in the land of ‘Trash Talkin’ Yourself’ to become the ‘Queen of My Own Life’. Now that you’ve decided to become the official ruler in your realm, why not do as queens do and banish some stuff. I mean, what’s the fun of being queen if you don’t take advantage of your true powers?

Why not make your first Act as Queen to banish three little words that are at the root of 99% of all trash talk? These words are insidious because they creep into our thoughts—and we don’t even recognize it’s happening. Here’s what makes these three words the worst kind of trash talk: each one of them has the power to instantly cause us to doubt ourselves so deeply that we cross right over into scaring ourselves. That’s the direct route to becoming stuck in the past in ways that make it almost impossible to move forward.

Forewarned is forearmed—so take a look at them: Would’ve…Should’ve…Could’ve…

How many times have you beat yourself up with these three words?

“If only I would’ve…”

“I should’ve…”

“I could’ve…”

Maybe you’ve never thought about this before, so I invite you to consider this: how does it help you to play a scenario over and over in your mind, trying to create different outcomes by asking yourself, “If only I would’ve…, should’ve… or could’ve…?” If your answer makes you feel like Cr@p—then you know from our previous conversations it’s a PowerTrap.

When you respond to your negative feeling by using any (or all!) of these three words, you just dig yourself a deeper hole. You’re mentally going around in circles, covering the same ground again and again, wringing your hands and changing…what? Pretty ineffective isn’t it? It never changes the past, and it only gives you a future guaranteed to be just like it.

And here’s the Million Dollar Question: Does that look like something a Queen would do?

Next time you hear yourself saying any of these three words, why not make a simple shift instead? You’ll find out how in the monthly practice on Move Into Your Power.

jeweled crown

The Queen of Trash Talkin’

jeweled crown

When you were a little girl, did you ever imagine that you would grow up to be a queen? I certainly did. I saw myself regally walking amongst my loyal subjects smiling and nodding my recognition of their fealty.

I knew that I was born to be the Queen of Something. I wasn’t born into a royal family. I didn’t have the money or connections that one would need to gain access to the social circles where I could meet a king—so I had to find another way.

It took me years to accomplish it. It took me even longer to remember my mother telling me that I should be careful what I wished for. One day I realized that, in my quest to be queen, I’d chosen the easiest route to a kingdom that I could absolutely rule. I’d become the Queen of Trash Talkin’ Yourself.

When you’re the Queen of Trash Talkin’ Yourself you:

•  Magnify your faults
•  Ignore your strengths
•  Deflect all compliments
•  Downplay your achievements
•  Refuse to champion yourself

I did all of those things as if I were born to it. I believed that negative voice constantly sounding off in my head and carried myself as if every word were true. I’d brought myself to the most unpleasant kingdom–one that kept me from reaching my goals, celebrating my accomplishments and enjoying my life.

Fortunately, I soon figured out that I no longer wanted to reign as Queen of Trash Talkin’ Yourself. Once I abdicated that throne-I never looked back. Now I’ve learned how to be the Queen of My Own Life and my queendom is the most nourishing place on the planet.

If you have your own little kingdom where you’re the Queen of Trash Talkin’ Yourself, why not leave it behind? It’s a simple shift that anyone can make. The Monthly Practice on Move Into Your Power will get you started.

If you like what you find there, my online course, Move Into Your Power, has even more strategies for leaving behind behaviors that hold you back. Why not try it for free now?