Last time we talked about abdicating your throne in the land of ‘Trash Talkin’ Yourself’ to become the ‘Queen of My Own Life’. Now that you’ve decided to become the official ruler in your realm, why not do as queens do and banish some stuff. I mean, what’s the fun of being queen if you don’t take advantage of your true powers?
Why not make your first Act as Queen to banish three little words that are at the root of 99% of all trash talk? These words are insidious because they creep into our thoughts—and we don’t even recognize it’s happening. Here’s what makes these three words the worst kind of trash talk: each one of them has the power to instantly cause us to doubt ourselves so deeply that we cross right over into scaring ourselves. That’s the direct route to becoming stuck in the past in ways that make it almost impossible to move forward.
Forewarned is forearmed—so take a look at them: Would’ve…Should’ve…Could’ve…
How many times have you beat yourself up with these three words?
“If only I would’ve…”
Maybe you’ve never thought about this before, so I invite you to consider this: how does it help you to play a scenario over and over in your mind, trying to create different outcomes by asking yourself, “If only I would’ve…, should’ve… or could’ve…?” If your answer makes you feel like Cr@p—then you know from our previous conversations it’s a PowerTrap.
When you respond to your negative feeling by using any (or all!) of these three words, you just dig yourself a deeper hole. You’re mentally going around in circles, covering the same ground again and again, wringing your hands and changing…what? Pretty ineffective isn’t it? It never changes the past, and it only gives you a future guaranteed to be just like it.
And here’s the Million Dollar Question: Does that look like something a Queen would do?