The Queen sits regally on her throne patiently listening to the appeals of her loyal subjects. Everyone who comes to her has a compelling story and desperately needs her help. She listens attentively. Her compassion is boundless. She can’t help herself—she grants every request. She just doesn’t have the heart or the confidence to refuse.
Wait a minute!!! Does that sound like any Queen you’ve ever read about or seen in a movie?
Is she patient? Sometimes.
Is she attentive? Usually.
Is she compassionate? Often.
Does she always say yes? No.
How successful would any Queen be if she always said “yes,” even when she didn’t mean it?
How trusted would she be if she could never say “no?”
When you don’t imagine yourself to be a Queen, it’s easy to fall into the trap of saying “yes” when you really want to say “no.” So may of us would rather sacrifice ourselves—our time, our money, or our comfort—than disappoint someone.
The cost is higher than you think. When you always say “yes” to everyone else—you only have “no” left for yourself. Think about it. What did it cost you the last time you agreed to do something you didn’t want to do? Did you:
- Miss out on something else you would rather have done?
- Waste time dreading it?
- Begrudge doing it?
- Feel guilty for trying to avoid doing it?
- Feel irritated that it was asked of you?
You can avoid all of that drama when you remember that one of the hallmarks of being the Queen of Your Own Life is saying “yes” only when you mean it.
Here’s the payoff: You’re happier and you have a more positive attitude. The resentments you’ve allowed to build up toward those who “take advantage of you” dissipate. The people to whom you do say “yes” know they can count on you to be fully present and deliver on your promises. The people to whom you say “no” feel respected—they trust that when you do say “yes” you’ll mean it.
When you look at it more closely, doesn’t it look like everyone’s better off when you only say “yes” when you mean it? See how it feels to say yes like a Queen in the monthly practice on Move Into Your Power.